London Adventures
Airborne Paper Bags Assault Citizens
*You could actually read the note at the end of this entry before you waste your time with it... If you have a lot of free time, go ahead and read everything. Your choice :)
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SOFIA, BULGARIA - Sofia streets are safe no more, as paper and plastic bags have turned against humanity. The non-organic vandals only strike at night and use the wind as their main driving force.
On the evening of August 21, a new crime group formed in Sofia. The evil-doers have always been part of the city's ecosystem, and they had not done much harm until that faithful night. Unsuspecting victims flee in terror as they are attacked by bags from behind and above.
The plastic bandits take no note of who or what they attack, so long as they cause enough damage. So far, people have been the main targets, as they are moving targets and are, therefore, harder to get. "It's all in the chase.. All the thrill is in the chase and the gliding down to a person," states a fat "Billa" bag upon its arrest. "Of course keeping up is more difficult for us large volks, so our main strategy has become ambush."
One may never know where the vandals will come from. A group of scientists from the Institute for Research of Weird Phenomena has struggled to untangle the mysteries behind the bags' tactics. Professor M. Kent, with a Ph. D. in Psychology, explains where lies the key to the bags' success: "Because they come in great variety, bags have created a hierarchy. Every kind of bag is a unit. The light, white plastic bags are what we might call jet planes; hover above the victim and surround it, circling around it in the air. Heavier bags aim for the victim's knees, causing a loss of coordination and the unpleasant feeling of having something gross stuck to your leg. The biggest ones are like landmines in a way; when you step on them, you are most likely to slip and fall down."
Professor Kent's theory is right according to people who have been assaulted by the gang. "It's true, they are everywhere! They get stuck in your hair and obstruct your eyesight!" claims P.A. who was attacked earlier today. Her dog Buttons also suffered from severe bag damage. On its left front paw, one can still see the remains of a "Mr. Bricolage" pack.
Local authorities advise all citizens and their pets and plants to stay at home and go out only in case of emergency. Meanwhile, the city will be taken by the bags, which have already claimed most of the streets and trees. All left for people here to do is to pray that a sudden heatwave will strike and the rising hot air will carry the bags away. "We don't want the bags any longer! They've become too many and too wild. Let some other city deal with them!" cries the mayor of Sofia.
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*It was true, Mom and I did get "attacked" by several paper bags while walking the dog in the evening... :D That's basically what inspired me to write this pointless entry :)
____________________________________
SOFIA, BULGARIA - Sofia streets are safe no more, as paper and plastic bags have turned against humanity. The non-organic vandals only strike at night and use the wind as their main driving force.
On the evening of August 21, a new crime group formed in Sofia. The evil-doers have always been part of the city's ecosystem, and they had not done much harm until that faithful night. Unsuspecting victims flee in terror as they are attacked by bags from behind and above.
The plastic bandits take no note of who or what they attack, so long as they cause enough damage. So far, people have been the main targets, as they are moving targets and are, therefore, harder to get. "It's all in the chase.. All the thrill is in the chase and the gliding down to a person," states a fat "Billa" bag upon its arrest. "Of course keeping up is more difficult for us large volks, so our main strategy has become ambush."
One may never know where the vandals will come from. A group of scientists from the Institute for Research of Weird Phenomena has struggled to untangle the mysteries behind the bags' tactics. Professor M. Kent, with a Ph. D. in Psychology, explains where lies the key to the bags' success: "Because they come in great variety, bags have created a hierarchy. Every kind of bag is a unit. The light, white plastic bags are what we might call jet planes; hover above the victim and surround it, circling around it in the air. Heavier bags aim for the victim's knees, causing a loss of coordination and the unpleasant feeling of having something gross stuck to your leg. The biggest ones are like landmines in a way; when you step on them, you are most likely to slip and fall down."
Professor Kent's theory is right according to people who have been assaulted by the gang. "It's true, they are everywhere! They get stuck in your hair and obstruct your eyesight!" claims P.A. who was attacked earlier today. Her dog Buttons also suffered from severe bag damage. On its left front paw, one can still see the remains of a "Mr. Bricolage" pack.
Local authorities advise all citizens and their pets and plants to stay at home and go out only in case of emergency. Meanwhile, the city will be taken by the bags, which have already claimed most of the streets and trees. All left for people here to do is to pray that a sudden heatwave will strike and the rising hot air will carry the bags away. "We don't want the bags any longer! They've become too many and too wild. Let some other city deal with them!" cries the mayor of Sofia.
________________________________________
*It was true, Mom and I did get "attacked" by several paper bags while walking the dog in the evening... :D That's basically what inspired me to write this pointless entry :)
posted by Marty Nikolova at
11:58 AM
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